SJW the Scrooge: One Day Only.

At the weekend I was full of Christmas cheer, taking it upon myself as the youngest in my house to be over-excited about Santa’s impending arrival; today though, this all changed. SJW became scrooge.

I woke up this morning and got ready for work and as I opened my curtains to the lovely weather I noticed something weird about my car. Being the grown up adult I am, I instantly shouted to my mum for back up. Mumma SJW promptly went out the door to inspect my car and confirmed the bad news; some idiot had smashed my wing mirror off. Merry Christmas, SJW! As I didn’t have my shoes on, I was hanging out my window shouting to my Mum, including some inappropriate language aimed at the culprit, who had long since driven off into the distance, only waking up my brother and his girlfriend, and probably the rest of the street. Oopsy.

I eventually ventured to work, whilst thinking that the consumption of a Marks and Spencer’s sandwich and cookie at lunch time would cheer me up from my scroogey state. Oh how wrong I was.

On the journey home, I was merrily driving along, heading home for the ladies night out to the cinema with Mumma SJW and my brother’s girlfriend. This journey should take me approximately 10 minutes, but I soon hit a shedload of traffic, which in the small city I live in, must have been the entire city out in their cars. It is always at a time like this when I actually look at my petrol gauge… low and behold, it was under the last white line and heading straight towards the red. Was I going to make it home?! At this point, I literally had no hope. Crawling up the hill, I was getting more stressed, eventually screaming ‘I hate people!!’ in my car. To myself. Once over the top of the hill, it became clear what the problem was; a flood sign. I know you’re all imagining a huge lake covering the entire road here, as was I. Oh no, in true P-town style, this ‘flood’ was just an enlarged puddle. I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry…

Anyway, determined to enjoy the film, we went to see Saving Mr. Banks, which turned out to be really good and afterwards the best after-cinema treat: Nandos. With no shame I ordered a double chicken breast fillet burger in Mango and Lime, I don’t care if you’re judging my taste in spice, it’s ma fave. After what seemed like an eternity, my food came and I was looking forward to chow down, something just seemed wrong… first bite of my burger and my mouth burnt up. This was not Mango and Lime. Maybe I was just being an idiot? Got my brother’s girlfriend to taste and she had the exact same reaction as me, coincidentally she also ordered Mango and Lime and they did not taste the same. No way, hosay. Good old Mumma SJW took my food back to complain and possibly my favourite moment of this was when I heard her getting slightly irate and across the restaurant all I could hear was ‘she eats here a lot and she knows it isn’t right!’. Yep, loyal fan right here! Possibly the worst part of this experience was when the manager wouldn’t admit that it was wrong; I don’t care if you tell me they cooked it right, she refused to eat it herself, so how can you possibly argue that I’m wrong?! After giving me some spiel about how the sauce all comes in from a supplier so it couldn’t possibly be wrong, she offered to re-cook me a new one in a plain sauce.

Yeah it came quickly, but I wasn’t feeling particularly impressed and was vowing to never go to Nando’s again. The final cherry on the top of the never-go-to-Nandos-again cake was when another waitress came over and gave me a speech about how Nando’s sauce can be quite hot if you aren’t used to it as they use chilli’s. These chilli’s also vary in temperature due to how long they are left to grow in the sun. I genuinely couldn’t hold in my laughter; just admit something was wrong and leave me be to eat my dry, plain burger.

So all in all, I’m feeling pretty scroogey, but hopefully I will pick up my Christmas spirit again tomorrow.
Have a lovely Christmas everyone, and avoid Nando’s.


Hometown Glory.

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, I know all you avid fans have been sat awaiting my next post! Don’t forget anybody can follow me, just enter your email in the follow box on the right hand side ;). I’ve been busy finishing off the last week of university, happily celebrating it’s over for a month and getting ready for Christmas. This time off has included a couple of trips home; one just for a weekend for that ultimate yearly event, the work’s Christmas party.

No, this was unfortunately not a Christmas party for Slapdash, I’d probably be a little lonely in a room on my own even though I am such a party animal. I work during the holidays for my family’s business back home in Devon, and considering we currently have 9 offices, the party is a pretty big thing. My brother and I travelled back together from London and I’m just going to side-track onto a little rant about how blimming annoying travelling is! WHHYYYY is Devon so far away and so hard to get to from London?! Why does it take me longer to get home than my flatmate who lives up North? David Cameron, I know you’re reading this, so please, build some fast trains which go to Devon. Thanks. It might even help the economy, you know.

Now, as a student you probably travel around more than you have ever done in your life. This has not made me any better at packing. I had to travel across London to meet my brother during rush hour looking like a frigging donkey carrying my entire life with me. When I finally met my brother I was in a mega grump and threw some bags at him to carry, although he refused to wheel the floral suitcase along…


Back on the road I was a happy bunny, cheering myself up by chowing down on my large snack selection.


We made it home that evening and the last thing I asked my Mum before I went to bed: ‘What’s in the fridge?’… Yes, I had so much choice to wake up to the next morning, I needed that long to contemplate to make sure I got the choice right. I also ate my lunch the next day in my pj’s on the sofa watching Gogglebox, the best programme evaaaa, which definitely deserves its own blog post soon.

That Friday evening was the big event and this years theme for the party was Hollywood; a great excuse to get overly dressed up. I wore a Topshop dress, New Look heels and a River Island necklace.


Safe to say it was such a good night, there was a three course meal, the decoration looked great, particularly those amazing seat covers, and the band was really good! I’ll leave it at that, but here are a few snapchats from the night.


On the way home the next day, myself, my brother and my brother’s girlfriend decided that the golden arches were calling us, and I slightly accidentally ordered myself a feast…


Whilst eating I started chatting about Blackfish; a documentary about the treatment of the killer whales in SeaWorld. If you haven’t watched it then I highly recommend you do, I might even write a blog post about it, as even though I am in no way an animal lover, it was highly moving. Whilst discussing Shamu, the whale show at SeaWorld, my brother had a horrific realisation: ‘What?! You mean Shamu isn’t just one whale?!!’. … ‘No, Shamu is the generic name for all their whales’. After laughing hysterically so long my stomach hurt, I felt like I’d ruined Christmas for him. Oopsy.

So much happened that weekend I’d love to write it all but it’s probably only funny to me! Since then, I’ve enjoyed my time in London before once again returning back home for Christmas and I’m currently writing this whilst I’m meant to be doing dissertation work and revision. I’m planning on editing a video blog (and possibly some bloopers) and uploading that, so watch this space for more SJW.

Enjoy all your Christmas parties! Over and out x


This shouldn’t be news.

I wasn’t going to write a post about this,  as I personally feel it shouldn’t be news, but scrolling down my Facebook newsfeed has provoked too much thought on the subject.

So this morning, as I’m sure most of you are aware, Tom Daley posted a video about coming out as ‘dating a man’.  I believe that this shouldn’t be news. Who cares who he is dating?! Girl or guy, he’s an Olympic diver and that’s what he should be known as, and talked about for. I’m not an imbecile and realise that fame factors into this, but should the press be so focused on outing celebrities and their relationships? Let’s not lie, the press has covered so many celebrities breakdowns so publicly that it’s becoming a bit of a joke. Though, let’s all remember the glorious moment when a bald Britney smashed a car with an umbrella…

Back to the point, let’s stop picking apart what he came out as, commend him for the fact he has been brave enough to do it and move on.

Before Facebook incited that slight ranty train of thought, my first thoughts after I watched the YouTube video of him coming out, were how sad it was when at the end of the video he hoped that people would still support him on his journey. It saddens me that still in this world, people are so homophobic that they may no longer support him after the news. This goes for everybody in every walk of life, why do people judge others on their sexuality. It shouldn’t matter. I’m not trying to say you should love everyone in life, but why judge solely on one small factor, whether that factor be sexuality or something else. Coming from a small city, close-minded people were all around me, and every time I go back, I’m still shocked at how implicitly stereotyped views come out of people’s mouths. I’m thankful that I grew up with an open mind and have experienced a whole variety of people; yes, I’m not best friends with everyone but who knows what some people can offer you if you don’t judge them and write them off instantly.

On the other end of the scale, it slightly annoyed me that he even said that he hoped people still support him. This implies that it’s okay for people to turn around and say they won’t solely because he’s now dating a man. That isn’t okay. And if that happens, which, in this ridiculous world, I’m sure it will, I hope all of you homophobes are ashamed. This doesn’t just go for celebrities, it saddens me that people are still so scared to come out to their families because they feel they will no longer support them. Surely parents, families, whoever it may be, should want that person to be happy, no matter what? In fact, what difference does it make to anybody else in the world, what gender that person is dating?!

Let’s let people date who they want. Let’s care about them being happy rather than dissecting their lives. Let’s celebrate talent in its own right. Most of all, let’s stop being so close-minded and judgemental.

SJW, over and out x

Image taken from: http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/02_02/britney240207X17_468x498.jpg