Happy Valentine’s Day! (Pukeeeee).

Tomorrow is the dreaded day for those of us who are single out there, but you know what I’ve realised? Being single is pretty great for a number of reasons. Yeah, maybe even Hitler had a girlfriend and thus anybody who is single is less attractive than Hitler (obvious logic there, duhhh), but let’s enjoy being single, before the shame of going home to tell your Mum that you’re still single gets too much and you throw yourself into the joy of a relationship. My own Mum likes to hilariously ask if I’m capable of meeting any man who isn’t gay or already has a girlfriend.

1: The best benefit of being single: Your bed.
If, like me, you’re in a full time relationship with your bed, then you’ll definitely appreciate this. You can starfish in your bed to your heart’s content. Nobody stealing the covers. Nobody snoring. Oh, and yes you can definitely wear your pink fluffy full length PJ’s to bed without the fear you’ll be disowned!

2: No hair removal for you Glen Coco. You go, Glen Coco!
The bane of any girl’s life; that continual hair removal process. Unless your surname is Kardashian and you can afford to laser hair remove your entire body on your TV programme (not that I’ve ever watched it…), hair removal is just looooong. Single though? No worries! Let yourself become a full time gorilla, particularly through winter. Maybe stick to thick tights, jeans and maxi skirts though…

3: No shameful PDA’s.
I swear living in London has made this issue a whole lot more real. Kissing eachother on the Tube escalator is the worst. Please, get a room. Being single though, you can just feel disgusted at them and pride in yourself that you are trotting independently up those stairs.

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4: No ridiculous overshare on social media.
I have two points here, firstly, if you’re single then you don’t even have to attempt the ‘OH EM GEEEE, can’t open my door due to the cards’ joke. We all know you’re lying. Secondly, there is going to be no better joy than watching all the #luckygirl posts tomorrow and cringing / laughing / envying when the other half actually got the present right. Which leads me onto my next point…

5: No need to pretend you love the ugly cuddly toy or too smushy card.
Nobody has got you a rubbish present you have to pretend to love! All round winner here. Personally, I’m pretending these flowers are mine from a secret admirer. (I bought them for my flatmate’s Birthday, but shhh.)

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6: Valentine’s Day is a load of commercialised poo.
When you’re single, (though if I ever surprise my Mum by actually getting a boyfriend, I’ll still do this), you can happily rant about how Valentine’s Day is just a commercialised day, where people are just buying each other presents because society tells them they have to. Spontaneity is way better people!

7: You can go around singing ‘Independent Ladies’ feeling like a boss.
Release your inner Beyoncé. Be Independent. Conquer the world on your own. Here’s the link so you can start now!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lPQZni7I18
(Male readers can insert a more manly role model here). Which leads me onto my next point…

8: Do what you want, when you want.
Wear what you want, watch what you want, eat what you want… the list is endless. The best part? Nobody you have to schedule your life around, nobody there to impress, nobody who will judge you. Definitely not advocating changing for your other half, but you know, whipping your ice cream up so it’s liquid like you do when you’re a child is probs not the most attractive trait. (I think I just admitted my #childeatinghabits so let’s move swiftly along).

9: No awkward Valentine’s date.
I definitely think single people should think themselves lucky they aren’t on a date with Mr / Mrs. Wrong. No awkward small talk over food you want to chow down on but have to politely nibble at. No horrendous awkward silences. No ‘will they ever text me again’ wondering. No blind date where you walk up to the wrong person (just imagine, that’d be a story for the grandkids, that).

10: Aaaand finally, your friend’s are definitely the best people to spend Valentine’s with.
Because Valentine’s Day is like any other day, right? You can hang with your friends, have a cracking time and appreciate how much less hassle they are than a relationship. You may even be able to laugh about the Valentine’s cards you / other friends got over the years, particularly those ‘anonymous’ ones from your parents. (My Dad was great at this the year he text me and asked me to be his Valentine when I was about 13.)

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Anyway, here’s to embracing being independent; spending Valentine’s with friends whilst planning how you’re gonna conquer the world. Just in case you need a little pick me up, thanks to everyone who reads this blog, I’m amazed how many people actually do and have given me great feedback. You da best!

SJW x

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