0

Social Media Losers

Whaddup whaddup, it’s been a while!

I’ve been thinking for a while that I need to get back onto the blogging bandwagon and I’m not sure what’s inspired me today but I’m feeling overly optimistic and jazzy for a Monday. Which if you know me, is totally unlike me. I think I’ve slept off my fashion week hangover (and when I say hangover, I mean work-over) and have awoken feeling FRESH.

So here I am, sat with a blank excel sheet which is going to evolve into my weekly content calendar with some banging tunes playing and all I want to do is write a blog post. One of those days where you feel like you can conquer the world in your lunch hour.

Amid reading about the latest instagram updates, the meaning behind all the emojis on snapchat and fangirling over the thought of a dislike button Facebook, I’ve been reading a lot lately about the jealousy and feelings of inadequacy that social media can induce. (Yeah I know, social media loser over here).

Particularly this article on Elle, which has some valid points and some quite honestly, infuriating ones.

At its core, social media created a generation who can show the world their every move. From toilet selfies to their latest meal, we’ve all seen it all, and we’re all guilty. See some embarrassing snapchats as evidence:

Photo 1 Photo 2

Photo 3 Photo 4

Of course we’re only going to post on social media the best parts of our lives. Only my best snapchat friends get my most horrific moments on record and I really don’t think the whole world wants to see them. Really it makes sense, the better part of our lives get more likes, which in turn is more rewarding and without getting into the science of why social media is so addicting, our brains love the likes. Like more than drugs.

SO, where has it all gone wrong? Why have people suddenly started feeling so jealous of other people’s lives that they wrote articles about it? Is there some sort of fog in their mind that they can’t remember that they too only post the best parts of their lives, therefore trying to make other people jealous?

Beneath the Valencia filters, everyone has problems. Nobody’s life is perfect. Yes, we all do have days where we want to throw our keyboard at our boss’ head or have a weeping fit in the loo, Elle was right on that. But maybe people need to take a step back and realise that fact, the next time they’re weeping because someone’s insta-life is looking particularly on fleek. Instead of letting it get you down, create a group chat with your best pals and post screenshots of the worst envy-inducing offenders. Honestly, it’s a lot more satisfying and hilarious. And before you accuse me of being Regina George from Mean Girls, WE ALL DO IT.

And if you’re really jelly, put your phone down and go out, party, live your life. That’s probably the best remedy of all.

Peace out,

SJW x

0

This Whole Being an Adult Thing.

It’s that time of year again where a large proportion of twenty-somethings emerge from their cave of a bedroom, having completed their dissertations and ready for the best summer EVER. With reminders round every corner that this time last year it was me; I’ve started to realise that I sound like a wise old woman preaching my pearls of wisdom to anybody about to face the ‘real world’. It only makes sense to jump back on the blogging bandwagon and pass on these pearls of wisdom I’ve learnt about facing the big bad real world. Or maybe just laugh at how ridiculous my life has been in the last year, I’m not sure which (most likely the latter).

SJW’s Pearls of Wisdom on Adulthood:
1.  Prepare yourself now to mourn the loss of weekday nights out. You’ll maybe manage the occasional Thursday, but for real, whoever said that Thursday is the new Friday had obviously never had to experience the pain of staring at Excel with a hangover.

2. Sassy schoolgirl antics are just a dream; Office Politics are out to get ya.
The aim of the game? Don’t play it. 💁

3. Tax is the biggest b*tch you’ll ever meet.
Cry now for all the money you’ll never see. 👋

4. You will never EVER be prepared for the utterly horrendous moment that Student Loans send you a statement of everything you owe. With interest. The ugly big brother of your bank statement; nothing can be more horrific than the subtotal at the bottom of the first page being over 20 grand and knowing you have to turn over for more. 👻🙈🙈🙈

5. This one depends on what career you take. Anything vaguely creative? Penniless, living off pasta and poorer than your wildest dreams. But hey, your job sounds cool. (At least that’s what I keep telling myself). Anything else? Well I’m not sure I can actually imagine an entry level job with a starting salary above even a living wage (fashion is just so out there with thinking that people don’t actually need a wage, right?) but props to you all that did, for being widely sensible and actually listening when your parents said to get a job that pays well.

6. You’ll think this on the daily:

image

7. There is no greater joy on this planet than turning your alarm off on a Friday night.

image

8. It really freaks your parents out when you call them and talk about all the adult things you have achieved. I think my family are still in shock that I can be vaguely practical. Okay, maybe an overstatement, they’re probably just shocked I’m still alive.

9. You’ll be perpetually tired and perpetually busy at all times. Without question.
Meetings really bring this to reality; you’re sat there on one hand considering if you can shut your eyes without anyone noticing, but also silently screaming ‘Just make a decision, I am too busy for this!’
😱😱😱

10. Weekend inequality is the real issue we should all be campaigning for.
Who on earth decided that I should spend 5 days in the office and only two out having lolz with the squad? I can’t possibly have a lie in, go on an adventure, party and do all my life admin in 48 hours!?! SO. UNFAIR.

image

Aaand finally, the real gem: Nobody has their 💩 together. We can all try but really, Google is our saviour.

image

Who really knows what’s the best electricity tariff to be on. Who doesn’t cook themselves fish fingers and chips when they can’t be bothered to make a proper meal. Who really makes their bed every single day!? For real, who doesn’t trip up on a daily basis, spend most of their money for the month on a festival ticket, live off cereal to save money on lunch and whack their car’s wing mirror on a tree? Because I can definitely put my hands up and say, all of the above has happened to me… (And that’s just in the last month).

Here’s to being not a girl, but not yet a woman. 🍸

Over and out,
SJW x

P.s. Sorry Mum. I’ll try and cut down the phone calls asking for advice on my latest life crisis.

0

That Graduate life crisis.

I’ve been reading a lot of hilarious blog posts recently on the ‘twenty-something life crisis’ and it’s inspired me into blogging about it myself. I did the official graduation jazz a couple of weeks ago now, and I’m going to put in a picture of my dress because, quite frankly, I loved it. (It’s from H&M in case you wondered, mega-bargain of the century).

IMG_1519

So that’s my posing over with, how’s the big dark doom of life after graduation? Well, it’s definitely a whole new rollercoaster adventure. I’m not going to lie, it’s tough out there. I’ve become a legit traveller woman, for the past 3 months I haven’t been in one place longer than a week and a half; I’ve become a pro at packing a suitcase at high speed, running for trains and sleeping where ever is possible. It’s hectic, but all that travelling is giving me time to plan how I’m going to conquer the world.

So here’s my list of all the signs of a Graduate life-crisis:

1. If one more person asks you what your plans are next, you’ll scream at them.

2. You’re so bored of writing cover letters that you just want to send ‘PLEASE EMPLOY ME, I’M AMAZING’ and hope it still gets you a job.

3. You’re amazed at how much competition there is for proper jobs. Like, where are all these people coming from? 600 applicants in 2 hours, is that even for real!?

4. You’ll be equally amazed at how many jobs there are in recruitment. Where are all the jobs these people are recruiting for? How is that actually a thing?

5. You become ridiculously savvy at knowing which job adverts are just covering up ‘sales’ (cold calling) jobs. I was never aware that cold-calling was marketing. And who even buys stuff from cold-callers these days!? Ridiculous.

6. You begin to contemplate ridiculous careers. Dog walker for the rest of my life? Yeah, I can do that. They won’t mind that I’m not an animal person, right?

7. The joy of getting good news feels better than you imagine getting married / having your first child will be.

8. Someone mentions taking a Masters and you think back to the dark, dissertation days and shudder. Never, ever am I going through that again.

9. Money: You have none. You have to go back to the teenage days of begging your parents for a tenner so you can live.

10. You dream of your first pay-check. You then see the average salaries and cry at how you’ll be a penniless tramp.

11. The whole ’employment status / occupation’ box on forms brings on a whole new crisis. You can’t quite bring yourself to write unemployed. That’s only a temporary thing, right? I was actually signing up to the doctors today and they asked me on the form; so I put my occupation as ‘Graduate’, like it’s an actual thing. I look for jobs and I write letters telling people how amazing I am and how I deserve a job, whilst crying at how bad the competition is. Definite legit career.

12. There will be a lot of ladytears shed. It’s a life crisis, you have to cry. Sometimes you aren’t sure why.

13. The pure confusion of, just, life. Where will I live? Do I or do I not apply for this job? Will I be able to afford to live? What skills do I have for this job? Will I ever get a job? How do people ever go to the bother of changing jobs once they have one? WHAT IS LIFE?!

14. As you apply for a job, you begin planning your whole life if you got it. It seems like bliss. Then, application done, dream over. Next application, next dream life.

15. Your parents suggest careers for you. You wonder if they ever even listened to what you did at uni. Do you not understand my dreams!? Am I adopted? Who even are you!?

16. Moving back in with your parents. Actually I think this needs a whole blog post to itself.

17. Those over-wordy job descriptions are just hell in themselves.

18. The hatred you develop for the generic ‘Due to the large amount of applications, if you’re unsuccessful, we will not be able to let you know’. You may have put your heart and soul into that application, but nah, soz, bit busy to let you know you haven’t got it.

19. The jobs that ask for ‘Recent graduates with at least [what seems like 10 years] experience’. I was at university, how did you expect me to work full time too!? I’m not silly, I have a decent amount of experience, but equally, it sometimes feels like jobs want you to have experienced enough to be qualified for a managerial role yet it’s still entry level. Bizarre.

20. The wonder of if you’re the only one going through this. Then you look at the ridiculous numbers of applicants and laugh to yourself that you could not possibly be joined by more people, attached to their laptops, scrolling pages of potential jobs and despairing. That’s the reality of your problem.

21. The hatred for the words ‘job’ and ‘application’.

So basically, the graduate life consists of a lot of confusion, realisations of how poor you’ll be, how competitive the world is and how you need to escape moving back home. If you’re in this situation then I guess the crux of the crisis is that it will all work out. If you’re determined enough, you can make your own path and trot on down it like the superstar you are (girlpower inspiration at it’s best there). So keep your head up and enjoy having the time to catch up on all those things you missed whilst writing dissertation. The despair is real… But keep doing your thaaang.

SJW x