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WERK WERK WERK: Put em in the dirt.

This is my third draft today. I wanted to write a list of sassy girlboss quotes because I feel like I could take over the World today, but then I realised we all have Pinterest for that. So here’s an old post I hand wrote on the train to Plym a couple months ago, accompanied by a McDonald’s and sat next to a man reading his bible.

This January, I started a new job and with it, the realisation that I’m on countdown to being a full-time working gal for two whole years. The notion of this both makes me sound like a legit adult, whilst simultaneously want to run back under my duvet to hide and pretend that life doesn’t exist.

My legit full-time job count has hit a grand total of 3. A number that’s probably pretty scary for one of those frumpy careers advisors who tell you that a job is for life. Mine didn’t even understand the concept of working in fashion or that a ‘Fashion Buyer’ didn’t just mean I wanted to go shopping full time, so there’s that.

The rollercoaster of jobs have provided me with my fair share of tears and lols, so here’s a list of my ‘learns’ for all of you in this ‘not sure what I’m doing with my life’ shaped boat:

      1. You will believe you can take over the world on a daily / weekly basis.
        Know something your manager didn’t? Finish everything on that epic to-do list? Gurl, you’re killing it.Point 1
      2. You will cry.
        At your desk, in the toilets, to your boss in a meeting, maybe just a private tear shed at home. Work. Is. Tough.Crying
      3. Polite conversation rules:
        Monday – Tuesday: How was your weekend?
        Wednesday: Jesus, this week has felt long. / Weekend soon!
        Thursday – Friday: What are your plans this weekend?
        At all times: The temperature of the office.
        REPEAT.
      4. You will fantasise about throwing your keyboard at your bosses head. 
        Because your inner sass queen has to be unleashed some time, right?
        sass queen
      5. You will become ever more creative with your excuses for being late.
        I got sucked down the plughole when I was showering and had to climb my way out? That’s definitely why my hair still hasn’t dried.
        FullSizeRender
      6. Free office snacks are THE ONE.
        Let alone blagging a free dinner – THE DREAM.
        free pizza
      7. You will have a work husband / wife.
        The Tina Fey to your Amy Poehler, you’re the comedy Kings and Queens of the office.
        sisters
      8. You’ll find the best hiding places to text / watch tv / snapchat.
        Because nobody has time for 110% concentration all day. Unless a potential new employer is reading this… If so, please erase this point from your memory.
      9. At some point, there will be major work dramz.
        From people getting fired, to redundancy to your start-up not getting funding. You’ll never be prepared and it’ll probably happen when you’re on holiday.
      10. Meetings.
        You’ll flip between loving that they’re a waste of an hour to loathing not being at your desk and actually being productive.
        family guy work
      11. The pure joy of achieving something is beyond expectation.
        And it’ll sound like no biggie to anyone you tell. (If they’re good friends, they’ll still pretend to be interested / impressed that your tweet went viral, you made a snazzy spreadsheet or that you tidied your desk.)
        achievement
      12. Endorsements on LinkedIn are somehow addictive.
        And are also my new favourite joke. Good at snacking? Endorse me on LinkedIn or it doesn’t count, bbz.
      13. You’ll fantasise about leaving, but the thought of applying for jobs is too much. 
      14. The salad days.
        No matter how ready you feel you were to move on, you’ll always look back on the lolz, your work family and the perks with a rose-tinted shade of fondness. And then reality hits when you remember all those times you wanted to shut your head in the photocopier out of sheer rage.
        work

Peace out,
SJW x

 

 

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Social Media Losers

Whaddup whaddup, it’s been a while!

I’ve been thinking for a while that I need to get back onto the blogging bandwagon and I’m not sure what’s inspired me today but I’m feeling overly optimistic and jazzy for a Monday. Which if you know me, is totally unlike me. I think I’ve slept off my fashion week hangover (and when I say hangover, I mean work-over) and have awoken feeling FRESH.

So here I am, sat with a blank excel sheet which is going to evolve into my weekly content calendar with some banging tunes playing and all I want to do is write a blog post. One of those days where you feel like you can conquer the world in your lunch hour.

Amid reading about the latest instagram updates, the meaning behind all the emojis on snapchat and fangirling over the thought of a dislike button Facebook, I’ve been reading a lot lately about the jealousy and feelings of inadequacy that social media can induce. (Yeah I know, social media loser over here).

Particularly this article on Elle, which has some valid points and some quite honestly, infuriating ones.

At its core, social media created a generation who can show the world their every move. From toilet selfies to their latest meal, we’ve all seen it all, and we’re all guilty. See some embarrassing snapchats as evidence:

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Photo 3 Photo 4

Of course we’re only going to post on social media the best parts of our lives. Only my best snapchat friends get my most horrific moments on record and I really don’t think the whole world wants to see them. Really it makes sense, the better part of our lives get more likes, which in turn is more rewarding and without getting into the science of why social media is so addicting, our brains love the likes. Like more than drugs.

SO, where has it all gone wrong? Why have people suddenly started feeling so jealous of other people’s lives that they wrote articles about it? Is there some sort of fog in their mind that they can’t remember that they too only post the best parts of their lives, therefore trying to make other people jealous?

Beneath the Valencia filters, everyone has problems. Nobody’s life is perfect. Yes, we all do have days where we want to throw our keyboard at our boss’ head or have a weeping fit in the loo, Elle was right on that. But maybe people need to take a step back and realise that fact, the next time they’re weeping because someone’s insta-life is looking particularly on fleek. Instead of letting it get you down, create a group chat with your best pals and post screenshots of the worst envy-inducing offenders. Honestly, it’s a lot more satisfying and hilarious. And before you accuse me of being Regina George from Mean Girls, WE ALL DO IT.

And if you’re really jelly, put your phone down and go out, party, live your life. That’s probably the best remedy of all.

Peace out,

SJW x

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This Whole Being an Adult Thing.

It’s that time of year again where a large proportion of twenty-somethings emerge from their cave of a bedroom, having completed their dissertations and ready for the best summer EVER. With reminders round every corner that this time last year it was me; I’ve started to realise that I sound like a wise old woman preaching my pearls of wisdom to anybody about to face the ‘real world’. It only makes sense to jump back on the blogging bandwagon and pass on these pearls of wisdom I’ve learnt about facing the big bad real world. Or maybe just laugh at how ridiculous my life has been in the last year, I’m not sure which (most likely the latter).

SJW’s Pearls of Wisdom on Adulthood:
1.  Prepare yourself now to mourn the loss of weekday nights out. You’ll maybe manage the occasional Thursday, but for real, whoever said that Thursday is the new Friday had obviously never had to experience the pain of staring at Excel with a hangover.

2. Sassy schoolgirl antics are just a dream; Office Politics are out to get ya.
The aim of the game? Don’t play it. 💁

3. Tax is the biggest b*tch you’ll ever meet.
Cry now for all the money you’ll never see. 👋

4. You will never EVER be prepared for the utterly horrendous moment that Student Loans send you a statement of everything you owe. With interest. The ugly big brother of your bank statement; nothing can be more horrific than the subtotal at the bottom of the first page being over 20 grand and knowing you have to turn over for more. 👻🙈🙈🙈

5. This one depends on what career you take. Anything vaguely creative? Penniless, living off pasta and poorer than your wildest dreams. But hey, your job sounds cool. (At least that’s what I keep telling myself). Anything else? Well I’m not sure I can actually imagine an entry level job with a starting salary above even a living wage (fashion is just so out there with thinking that people don’t actually need a wage, right?) but props to you all that did, for being widely sensible and actually listening when your parents said to get a job that pays well.

6. You’ll think this on the daily:

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7. There is no greater joy on this planet than turning your alarm off on a Friday night.

image

8. It really freaks your parents out when you call them and talk about all the adult things you have achieved. I think my family are still in shock that I can be vaguely practical. Okay, maybe an overstatement, they’re probably just shocked I’m still alive.

9. You’ll be perpetually tired and perpetually busy at all times. Without question.
Meetings really bring this to reality; you’re sat there on one hand considering if you can shut your eyes without anyone noticing, but also silently screaming ‘Just make a decision, I am too busy for this!’
😱😱😱

10. Weekend inequality is the real issue we should all be campaigning for.
Who on earth decided that I should spend 5 days in the office and only two out having lolz with the squad? I can’t possibly have a lie in, go on an adventure, party and do all my life admin in 48 hours!?! SO. UNFAIR.

image

Aaand finally, the real gem: Nobody has their 💩 together. We can all try but really, Google is our saviour.

image

Who really knows what’s the best electricity tariff to be on. Who doesn’t cook themselves fish fingers and chips when they can’t be bothered to make a proper meal. Who really makes their bed every single day!? For real, who doesn’t trip up on a daily basis, spend most of their money for the month on a festival ticket, live off cereal to save money on lunch and whack their car’s wing mirror on a tree? Because I can definitely put my hands up and say, all of the above has happened to me… (And that’s just in the last month).

Here’s to being not a girl, but not yet a woman. 🍸

Over and out,
SJW x

P.s. Sorry Mum. I’ll try and cut down the phone calls asking for advice on my latest life crisis.

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Pastel pink everything with a touch of glitter.

I’m just going to state it: Fashion bloggers bore me.

Yes, I might work in fashion and social media so fashion bloggers should be a big part what I read, and yes I still read their blogs, know their names yada yada yada but Jesus, am I the only one who thinks they’re a massive snooze?

I’ve watched vloggers talk about their Christmas presents down to every cotton bud and make-up wipe they’ve received; I’ve read blogs about how people store their make-up; I’ve seen Instagrams of someone’s latest yoghurt delivery. The list of absurd posts is absolutely endless.

Yet I’ve also read posts that have made me laugh out loud, think yes gurrrl, you’re killing it! and seen content that social media intern’s dreams are made of.

The latter never seem to make the A-list in a way the snooze-ville bloggers do. Why on earth are we endorsing content that’s so dreary it  sounds as if all blogger’s heads are full of pastel pink everything with a touch of glitter? Which by all means, I know they aren’t.

The blogger-sphere has evolved from being innovative when all that time ago Susie Bubble made it big, to now being everyone’s daily diary written in the same website template.

It’s INSANE (yes caps is deserved) how much a fashion blogger can make even from the smallest of posts. Why as readers do we not demand more personality when bloggers have so much influence on fashion brands? I’m bored of hearing about how much bloggers love everything, at least google synonyms for the word.

All I’m saying is, let’s applaud all bloggers who haven’t told me that Spring Florals is the most innovative trend this season.*

Over and out,
SJW x

*P.S. If you didn’t get that subtle Devil Wears Prada reference, shame on you. 🙌😂

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New Year, New Me.

Okay so this time, it definitely has been a while. I wrote a blog post a little while back and never got around to posting it, but reading over it, it wasn’t my most optimistic writing ever and I couldn’t start a new year with depressing you all. To be fair to myself, I wasn’t in the best place, I was homeless, commuting and just quite frankly burnt out. I’m not saying that all blogging has to be constant lolz, after all I started this blog with a view to #keepingitreal, but let’s not dwell on the lows of 2014 hey.

So this brings me on to my optimism for 2015 and my all time favourite sarcastic phrase #NewYearNewMe. Let’s all pretend that we’re Cinderella and turn into a new person when the clock strikes midnight at New Years, making #goals that we’ll only give up on by the end of January.

I’ve written some of my own half serious, half lolz things to do this year and I whoops-a-daisy forgot the join the gym one. To be honest, I’m more likely to go to Maccy’s twice a week than the gym.

image

I recently read an article about some of the things twenty-somethings need to admit to themselves and also a rather laaame buzzfeed about resolutions we should all make. So in the name of #keepingitreal, I’ve put together a list of my own things about the realities of being twenty-something at the start of 2015 and things which should maybe change…

1. You’re allowed to admit to people that growing up isn’t easy. Yes it’s exciting, full of hopes and prospects, but there will be times when all you want to do is make a den and take a nap. There’s no shame in that.

2. We’re divided into two camps. The ones who are in a relationship, filling our newsfeeds with engagements / pregnancies and the rest of us who are single, listening to inspirational independent laydeez tunes whilst scrolling said newsfeed and thinking WTF, I still feel about 18 with my biggest decision being what I’ll eat for my next meal.

3. NYE is never worth the hype. #enoughsaid

4. Let’s just admit that buying tampons, sanitary towels and loo roll will always be slightly embarrassing when you get to the checkout. Or even worse, when you have to carry them home.

5. The joy of having home-cooked food will never, ever wear off.

6. The time in your life has come where you can go on as many adventures as you like. Don’t think about it, explore the world.

7. Money is the root of every problem in your life. YES let’s do it… oh wait, bank balance says no. (Yes I see the hilarious irony between the last two statements, but ya know, spend your dolla wisely).

8. Take a job because it’ll make you happy. When you’re sat in an office with the air con sucking the soul out of you, it’s time to move on. There’s no shame in admitting you aren’t happy, that your first job isn’t #TheDream. The key is knowing when to change and not being afraid of trying something new.

9. You will never have enough clothes in your wardrobe. Ever.

10. Or shoes for that matter…

11. It’s lame to send people invites for apps / games. Just don’t do it.

12. There are those people who you will always stalk on social media to keep up with their lives. You may never really speak to them but you dread the day they delete you as a friend. This is normal.

13. We all love fast food. Let’s just have no shame that we went to Maccy’s and loved it.

14. Let’s just finish the endless circle of ‘I’m going to the gym tomorrow… Nope, didn’t make it’. End the gym membership. Do some exercise you enjoy. Or if you hate it, don’t do it at all.

15. In the name of Miranda, gallop everywhere.

16. Indulge in your inner child. We’re still young. And I for one, definitely still want a go on the bouncy castle if there is one within a 10 mile radius.

17. Your best friends are basically your soul mates. Be at peace with the fact that you only need the main members of #TheSquad to be happy.

18. F*** da haterz. If they’re killing the vibe, wave bye bye.

19. Can the whole world just admit that we all secretly love watching The Kardashians!?!

20. Your eyebrow game can be too strong. Calm it on the pencil yeah? #dembrowsthough

21. Aaaand finally, this is a personal one, but let’s admit that you’ll never be truly ‘settled’ in your twenties. I live in a city I love, I’m from a city I love to hate. I have friends in different places. I travel a lot. I live out of a suitcase all too often and I always hear myself saying ‘yeah I’ll sort that out when I’m settled’. It’s never really going to happen in this chaos though is it? Roll with the chaos and make the most of it, because you’re only young and wild and free once.

So there we have it, the big goals of 2015 that none of us will stick to and probably aren’t worth making but definitely worth laughing about. Here’s to a totally new me…

SJW x

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The Life of a Working Woman

I’ve finally got around to a new blog post!

The big announcement: I’m now employed!! Still technically homeless, but we’ll discuss that one later…

The job offer was all a bit of a whirlwind; it took four days to go from unemployed to having that holy grail of a job offer. I found out I had an interview the day before it was supposed to happen and had to travel four hours to London that evening… I then stayed on my brother’s sofa for two nights and therefore woke up on my 21st birthday on a sofa and had to travel back home for 4 hours that day. It was all a bit too wild and glamourous for even me to handle. Since that last blog post I hope that those of you looking for jobs have also had some luck! And as if anyone needs proof that the job market is competitive, I recently found out that 180 people applied for my role… The mind boggles.

So how is it being a working lady? If I had to sum it up in one word: TIRING. SO FRIGGING TIRING. I’m starting to think that my only contribution to a conversation can be about how tired I am! I’m generally working 9ish hour days, sometimes longer. I get home, I eat, I talk about how tired I am, I sleep. Repeat.

If there’s one thing which I really wasn’t prepared for, it’s the lack of time to just do stuff for yourself. From everything to painting your nails, going shopping, to that dreaded life admin. I’m currently in the middle of sorting out moving house and I feel like I’m trying to work two jobs at once I have so much to sort out. So you may be wondering where I’m living at the moment and to be quite frank, I’m happily homeless. I’ve loved the awkward responses and confused faces when people at work have asked me that. So due to the rather rushed job offer, one of my friends, let’s call her The Big Bell, said I could stay in her room for a bit (y’know to keep me off the streets ). So we’ve been sharing her room (and bed) for basically a month now. It feels like we’re a married couple; we have sides of the bed, we wake each other up in the morning and sometimes have breakfast in bed, we put Cher on very loudly and dance around the room (probably shouldn’t admit that one). Luckily we’ve both been busy so she hasn’t realised she hates me just yet. Genuinely though, massive shout out to The Big Bell for letting me stay, I appreciate it so much. And if you try to tell me that your friends are better than mine, I’d just like to let you know that you’re wrong. The Big Bell is the one.

I guess you also might be wondering what I actually do. My job role is Marketing and Events at a fashion app. It’s still pretty new but has been backed by the same venture capitalists as ASOS and Nasty Gal, so yeah, pretty cool hey. My job is pretty varied, from helping organising events, to co-managing the social media to designing the marketing materials. See my #cheeese picture below from when I was all proud of the roller banners I’d designed…

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It’s been an amazing opportunity so far and I’m excited to see what else it has in store for me. Next week I’ve got London Fashion Week to attend as I get to blog about it, so that’s pretty sweeeet.

Anyway, I’m sure you’re not really that interested in my life, so I’ll sign off now so you don’t all start snoozing.

SJW x